I’m sorry that I have not been posting lately. However, there are good reasons for that. One I am recovering from major surgery and trying to overcome my grief and sadness of losing my father the same week of my surgery and am now in the process of planning for his memorial service. But I thought that it was probably a good idea to pick myself up and get back to the world instead of hiding from it. This is why I am posting what I’m posting. It is about something that happened to me the morning that my father died. I have included the following in my father’s memorial service scroll that I’ve designed. I want as many people as possible to know about this experience.
God is There Even in Your Darkest Moments of Despair
The experience I am about to share with you IS real, not a fantasy, and not a dream. It is something that I know God gave to me not to keep hidden to my myself, but to share with the world and so I share it with all of you now. It is something we all need to hear.
The past few years my husbands and my life have been filled with many trials to say the least and the recent passing of my father unexpectedly didn’t lighten the load. With his passing and an upcoming surgery, the morning of my father’s death found me pretty much gasping for air and feeling as if there was nothing but a void of darkness engulfing me. My family was exhausted after their experience at the hospital and understandably so and all fell asleep shortly after we returned home. However, no matter what, I couldn’t the sleep they so quickly found.
Instead, I lay in bed with my mind spinning and my heart aching and empty, feeling totally alone and not knowing what to do. I felt lost, sad, depressed and filled with despair. It was at that dark moment that I literally cried out to Jesus “My God, I need you. I need you now! I am too weak and broken and I cannot do this alone. I need you now, my God I need you!” In that very moment of my despair and crying out to God is when I felt myself being literally lifted out of my own body, I was not asleep, and I could actually see myself lying their on my side. In that same moment I also felt myself being cradled and caressed by two of the most intensely loving and caring arms. I felt as if I were being rocked in these loving arms and it was then that I knew that it was the arms of God that I was resting in. I have never in my life experienced such unconditional love, such mercy, such peace. I knew that at that very moment that I was being given a little glimpse of heaven. Once the immense peace had engulfed me replacing the despair I had just felt a few moments earlier, the phone rang and it was Kathy Harris, our choir director who immediately said “Oh honey I just heard. Do you need our help? What can I and the choir do for you?” I knew then that God was sending His angel armies to me and all I could do was whisper in response “Yes, yes, yes!”
I know now that this is a message that everyone needs to know. Know that God IS real, God IS alive and He IS all around us! He wants us to cry out to Him in our despair for His help, because He is waiting for us to acknowledge the truth of His existence. Don’t be afraid to let go of your pain, your troubles or your despair because the hand of God is there waiting to pull you out of the darkness! I know, for I have truly felt the hand of God! You don’t have to feel as if you have to do it alone! For you are NOT alone!
Remember that you are loved by the living God!
Romans 5:5 “Hope does not disappoint.”